If you follow my Facebook page, you would've saw a post about a personal blog I wrote that got deleted when my wifi went out a couple of months ago. I thought to myself that maybe it's because it was too personal or too cliche or it was just something I needed to write for myself. While all that might be true, I still felt this sense that I needed to share with my followers what's been on my mind the last couple of months.
This past summer, I've had time to do a lot of reflecting: on myself, family and friends, and my future. Just a couple of months ago, I thought I had everything figured out. I was in a committed relationship, I had just landed my dream job, I was happy with my health, and I was about to embark on a three week trip of a lifetime. Well, all of a sudden, life changed, things got bumpy & plans were destroyed.
Even though I was upset and felt like things were falling apart, I still felt optimistic. Since breaking up with my long term boyfriend, I've found time to love myself again. I didn't realize how much I needed that and in doing so, I have been a much happier, spontaneous, more loving person to be around. I have realized that you can't fully love someone until you truly love yourself. I have also realized that when one door closes, 17 more of them open. This past summer, I have found new friendships that I will treasure for a lifetime. You realize that some people you thought would stick by you for years to come, suddenly pick others over you, and while it stinks, you have to come to terms with it. Moving to San Antonio has probably been the best thing that has happened to me in the last 6 months. I am so happy to find a new city, new friends, new locations to shoot, and a new love for myself. I've always been one to be independent so moving to a new city by myself is probably going to be a piece of cake...right?
Even though I'm sad that I have had to put Abbie Mae Photography on the back burner while I got started at my new job, I'm still so excited for things to come in the upcoming years. This isn't because I don't love photography, it's what I think I have to do for a little while. When I started Abbie Mae Photography, I never knew what to expect. I never thought I'd take on 24 sessions in a month or shoot 5+ weddings by myself the first year. Coming into this industry, I was unknowledgeable, yet inspired to do something I never thought I'd be capable of. Starting this kind of adventure when you are 19 years old is quite of a whirlwind. You never know what to expect, what kind of people you are going to meet, and what type of sessions you are going to inquire. But honestly, that's the fun of it. I was never one to be artistic, I could never draw, or write pretty cursive, I never played an instrument, and at the age 15, my mom told me I wasn't allowed to sing "Happy Birthday" anymore because I'd break people's eardrums. But I think that's the thing I love about photography and this industry. I have grown so much not only as a photographer, but as a person as well.
These past couple of months have been the most rewarding and I am so thankful. I am thankful for the time I've spent with family laughing over stupid jokes, making new friendships I will forever be grateful for, and taking time to reflect and find out my worth. Life is short, so live it how you want it. That brownie that has 400 calories isn't going to matter; the double text you sent to a boy, he probably won't care; did you run today? No, alright, well tomorrow you can run twice as much; But did you remember to love yourself? Did you love the people who care about you? Did you appreciate the people that are there for you day in and day out? That's what matters. Be happy, because at the end of the day, you are living this life for you, not anyone else.
Thank you so much for listening and constantly supporting me and Abbie Mae Photography. You will never know how much I appreciate each and everyone of you.